To feel bitter before 12:00pm is pleasant. And currently, if I do not eat something, I will continue to be bitter for the rest of the day. While last night was quite possibly one of my most wonderful evenings all summer, I am convinced that this was one must the most unfun mornings following such a blissful evening. I'll be blunt. I do not deal with smoking, and when a close friend of mine does, I am hurt- and I will express that. To make the statement clear, I do not like it when friends of mine, that I care about, that I love dearly, that I would sacrifice myself for, I do not like it when they do things to damage themselves. Actually, it's not that I dislike it. I detest it. I have a visceral pain that rises from such action. If one of my friends died because of some choice that I could have convinced them not to choose, I would never forgive myself.
I dont care. If people want to talk about how their own lives are their own lives. Fine. Then don't include me in it. I do not become friends with people just to watch them die-slowly or quickly. Their lives are precious to me, and I cannot be near people who do not appreciate that. There are plenty of wonderful people that engage in life shortening activities-and I can say that I am friends with many of them. But my close friends. My very close friends. I cannot let them. I cannot. So I might be a selfish bastard by wanting to preserve the life of the other simply so I don't have to deal with the heartache later. Fine, then call me a selfish bastard. Yet, I will stand by this selfish bastardness so long as I am tied to the other. I care for my friends, especially my close ones- is to see happiness in them is to see happiness in me. To see a friend die is to see a part of me die.
To top this off, my dad is having me argue with his Neo-Liberalist friend (one of my favorite American character types might I add). I did not need this layer of idiocy to be added to my morning.
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